The truth puffy dresses and barrel-leg pants expose.

A couple of years ago, a beautifully dressed woman came into the store where I was working. It was clear from the way she put her outfit together that she loved clothes.

As she was browsing the racks, she picked up a dress and started to look at it. 'Isn't it gorgeous?' I proclaimed enthusiastically. 'I have this,' she replied. She then told me she had yet to wear it. When I asked why, she explained, 'My friends already think I look ‘out there’. This might just tip them over the edge.'

She hadn't worn the amazing dress she clearly loved because she was worried what her friends would say.

She was in her 60s.

The dress in question was loved by most women who walked through the door.

It was fun, beautiful and whimsical. It was also a very different silhouette. Many described it as 'puffy'. It was full of volume, with layers and layers of fabric that made it flare out. The widest point of the silhouette was at the hips.

Lots of women tried it on, fell in love with it, but didn't buy it. Why?

Because the dress was a beautiful challenge.

Our entire lives we have been conditioned to wear clothes that 'flatter our figure'. In other words, make your body look the way it's supposed to. Make your body look like the ideal shape of the day.

Make your body look smaller.

We are never encouraged to make ourselves look bigger.

We are told to play with proportions in order to correct, not to create a fun silhouette.

Case in point: barrel-leg pants.

I haven't seen a modern silhouette that has divided opinion as much as barrel-leg pants.

Barrel-leg pants don't conform to the ideal shape of the day. In fact, they subvert it. The loose, curved shape is unique, sculptural and comfortable. They do not make your legs look long and slim. They can make you look 'bigger'. They can look 'puffy'.

Why is that a bad thing?

We need to question why we react to styles that don't immediately signal attractiveness in the way we are taught to view it. That questioning is essential if we want to create a personal style that expresses who we truly are. We need to understand the difference between conditioned rules and genuine preferences.

Wearing an outfit that 'balances your proportions', makes you look thin, or gives the illusion of a small waist or larger bust may be considered flattering, but if it doesn't express who you are, what is it really achieving?

The puffy dress that sits wide at the hips and the barrel-leg pants that curve out from the body are challenging in the way they present the female form. That doesn't always sit comfortably with us. Especially in midlife when the experience of feeling attractive seems to have packed its bags and gone on holiday.

But feeling attractive, powerful and playful in your clothes doesn't come from conforming to beauty standards. That's a losing game. It comes from understanding who you are, and then building the courage to express that to the world.

Visibility in midlife doesn't come from playing by the rules. We've done that.

It comes from finally letting go of them and dressing for yourself. Regardless of what your friends think, regardless of what your partner thinks, regardless of what society thinks.

Midlife doesn't f**k around.

It is asking you to change. It is asking you to step into the woman you are now.

Does she wear puffy dresses and barrel-leg pants? Only you can say.

The Embodied Style Practice

This week I want you to think about the clothes you love but aren't wearing. Not the ones that no longer fit, or the ones that no longer feel like you. The ones you love but aren't wearing.

What part of you do these pieces express that you're afraid to show?

Afraid that they're too much, that they'll make you look different, bigger or louder, afraid of what other people will think, afraid you'll be too visible. Name the feeling, the story, the fear. Say it out loud. Recognise it.

Don't judge yourself for it or force yourself to think differently about it. Just acknowledge it. These fears provide important information.

Midlife is presenting you with an opportunity to step more fully into who you are.

But there are conditions.

You have to let go.

Let go of the ideas, rules and standards that tell you how to be, how to look and what to wear. You have to turn your attention inwards and learn how to decide those things for yourself.

Midlife is inviting you to experience liberated style. Will you say yes?

Julie x