Spring cleaning your wardrobe can make you feel sad. Here's why.

Spring appears to have officially arrived here, bringing with it blue skies, sweet wafts of jasmine, and glorious bursts of sunshine that feel as good in your soul as they do on your skin.

The weather where I live has been magical.

The desire to pack away the winter woolies and commence the annual spring clean is building. But the joy and warmth of the new season also triggers a vulnerability.

Warm weather means a more exposed body.

As my body continues to change, the question of whether last season's clothes will still fit and still feel good niggles at my mind. Spring cleaning my wardrobe will inevitably lead to some moments of frustration and grief, where I will have to say goodbye.

Not only to the clothes, but to the version of me that wore them.

The speed at which your body changes in midlife is startling. It’s like you had a major software change but no one gave you the memo. You try to do all the things you did before but the computer says no.

Your body changes at a rate that your identity can't keep up with, and this disconnect creates feelings of fear, confusion, and uncertainty. 

Your wardrobe becomes a battleground.

We are taught that there are parts of our body that are acceptable and parts that are not. Stomach, arms, thighs, dimpled flesh, folds, creases and rolls. We are told to hide our 'flaws'.

So when the warmth of spring forces us out of our wintry cocoon, we find ourselves standing in front of the mirror listing things that need to be fixed before we can feel good in our clothes. 

You feel exposed.

You feel like a stranger in your own skin.

You feel like style is over for you.

But what if your body is not the problem?

What if you are just responding to rules you have been taught since the very beginning? Rules that are designed to make you feel this way.

We have been conditioned to inspect ourselves through critical eyes since we were very young. We assess our bodies as though we are looking from the outside in. 

Analysing.

Scrutinizing.

Reviewing.

Putting on a pair of shorts that fit perfectly last summer, only to find they no longer do, triggers feelings of failure and sadness, because that’s how the system works.

You look in the mirror through squinted eyes, checking whether your outfit is flattering, whether it makes you look bigger, whether it is too revealing, too old, too young, too much.

You become your own censor.

That is conditioning.

The system doesn’t just sell you clothes, it sells you the idea that your body is a problem to be managed.

The Embodied Style Practice

This week, when you get dressed, I want you to notice thoughts that sound like rules. Thoughts like: Is this flattering? Does this make me look bigger? Should I cover my arms? Is this too much? What will people think?

Notice how you feel when those thoughts appear. Notice what happens in your body. Notice if the thoughts affect your style decisions.

You don’t have to challenge them or change them, just gently notice them. This practice is about becoming aware of the rules that govern your wardrobe, the rules that govern you.

Body changes in midlife hit particularly hard because your software has changed. There is no going back to the previous operating system. There is no going back to the previous version of you. 

That is a lot to take in, but when you do, you clear space for the new you to emerge.

That space is where style begins.

Not bound by rules and expectations, but with a growing curiosity about who you are and what you truly want and need from your clothes.

Midlife gifts you an opportunity to start anew, to question the rules you have been handed and make space for a style that is truly your own. I really hope you take it. 

Julie x