My wardrobe told me something I didn't want to hear.

I'm thinking about letting go of my cream silk shirts. I have, what I call, a healthy collection. They have been a style staple for me for well over 10 years. I wore my favourite one so much it started to disintegrate.

Now I see them differently. I see them holding me back. 

For years a cream silk shirt was my answer to ‘what do I wear?’. Any occasion, any uncertainty, my cream silk shirt was there waiting for me. My loyal wardrobe companion.

Now my cream silk shirt is less of a choice and more of a habit. An elegant place to hide.

But letting go of them doesn't feel simple. 

What will I wear in the moments I feel uncertain? In the moments I don’t want to be seen? Who will I be without them?

Letting go of clothes that hold meaning for us can be really difficult. But it has very little to do with the clothes themselves.

It is an admission. An admission that something has changed.

And change demands something of us.

Midlife doesn’t arrive as a single moment, but as an escalating insistent request for change. 

This change is exactly what the culture tells women to resist. Fight the signs, freeze time, stay exactly as you are and everything will be okay.

Looking ‘ageless’ has become proof that you're safe. That you haven't lost anything. That you’ll be alright.

Change can feel destabilising. Especially when it’s sudden.

Looking in the mirror and not really recognising who’s looking back is a confronting experience. So when they sell you the idea that you can ‘get yourself back’ or freeze yourself into an ageless state, it’s tempting.

We are conditioned to see midlife change as a loss. We are not encouraged to embrace the evolution of ourselves. 

But what if the desire to stay the same, to stay safe, is preventing you from becoming who you really are? What if holding on is holding you back?   

This week’s Embodied Style Practice

This week I want you to identify the clothes that may be holding you back. What are you holding on to for fear of letting go? It may be things that no longer fit, it may be things that you still wear but no longer feel right, no longer make you feel like you. Bring your awareness into your wardrobe when you get dressed and see what you can find out. 

I know that letting go of the cream silk shirts will require me to step into who I'm becoming. To make style choices that belong in the present, not in the past. There will be no hiding, no safety net, no 'I'll start tomorrow.' Letting them go will be a line in the sand. A declaration.

Saying goodbye to past versions of ourselves can feel difficult. It can feel like sadness, grief, anxiety. But shedding the past allows for new growth, new possibilities, and that is the style adventure I want to take.

Julie x