Is midlife where the wild roses grow?

Kylie Minogue recently joined Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on stage in England, performing their 1995 hit duet ‘Where the wild roses grow’. The following day, Minogue joined Madonna onstage in Amsterdam for an energetic WorldPride performance.

Having grown up with all three of these performers, seeing clips of their performances online stirred a strange mix of feelings in me. Maybe it’s the fluctuating hormones that have me crying and laughing within moments of each other and for no apparent reason, but seeing them perform was emotional.

There is something extremely powerful about creating as an older person.

Creating in wild ways when the culture is telling you to quietly take up your place as a legacy artist, with your life’s work firmly in the rear view mirror.

It’s easy to romanticise the days when you were young, hot and energetic and experience the passing of that time as a loss. But watching Minogue 58, Cave 68 and Madonna 68 made me feel differently.

The accumulation of experience that comes with being older makes you more interesting, not less. 

Madonna’s new album Confessions II debuted at the top of the U.S, U.K, and Australian charts. Kylie won a Grammy in 2024 for her hit song Padam Padam and Nick Cave’s live shows are soaring to heights that have fans and critics revelling in raptures.

The culture tells us that our best self is behind us. But the truth is, that was just the groundwork. The depth and experience that comes with age is what gives us our soul.

That isn’t to say the transition is smooth.

Midlife is a bumpy ride.

You find yourself flung rather suddenly into the weird twilight zone that exists between young and old. It takes time to find your footing. But once you do, you face a choice, you can keep creating or retire.

Every single woman whose style I admire became more interesting with age, not less.

Vivienne Westwood

Erykah Badu

Iris Apfel

Diana Vreeland

Helena Bonham Carter

Lisa Bonet

What if your greatest style is ahead of you, not behind you?

Style has nothing to do with how smooth your skin is, how thin your body is, how toned your arms are. Style has nothing to do with youth or beauty, style is the soulful expression of you. The question is, will you keep creating?

The embodied style practice

This week I want you to practice the belief that your best style is ahead of you, not behind you.

Beliefs are simply thoughts you continue to think. If you change your thoughts, you change your beliefs.

Watch for limiting thoughts such as ‘I can’t wear that anymore’ ‘Oh to be young again' 'Who am I trying to impress?''This will do'.

When you catch yourself having a limiting thought, gently redirect your attention away from the thought and in to the present moment.

Then gently say to yourself, I’m still creating, my style is evolving, the best is yet to come. Practice this every time you notice yourself having a limiting thought about your style.

We live in a youth obsessed culture that is determined to make you feel like creativity is off limits because you are no longer young.

Creativity doesn’t work that way. It doesn’t have an expiry date. It keeps flowing unless you turn off the tap.

Your best work is still ahead of you.

Keep creating.

Julie x