Who is making your style decisions?

When I worked in fashion retail, there was a common phrase used. I'm sure you've heard it - 'The husband chair'. The husband chair is a chair located close to the fitting room for husbands to sit in while their wives browse and try on clothes.

The chair was in fact used by many people. Partners of all genders, family and friends. It should simply be called 'The Chair'. But what happened around that chair was far more revealing than what it was called.

Many women deferred to the person in the chair to understand whether they should buy something or not. This would happen regardless of how they actually felt about the garment they were trying on.

I have witnessed women look at themselves in the mirror and say out loud 'I really love it' but if the person in the chair said they didn't like it, they wouldn't buy it.

Despite being visibly disappointed.

I have heard 'My husband won't like it'more times than I care to count. And 'I might bring my mum in tomorrow and see what she thinks.'

Women are bombarded daily with opinions about how they should look. How their face should look, their hair, their body and their clothes.

Former Prime Minister, Julia Gillard's fashion choices were scrutinised in ways that her male counterparts would never be. As too are Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama's.

Women are consistently shamed for aging, gaining weight, losing weight, and wearing clothes that are too much or too little.

When asked by the press whether she was selling out by wearing a Versace gown to the Oscars in 1997, rocker Courtney Love declared 'We as females have thousands and thousands of years of fashion in our DNA'.

And yet, we turn to the person in the chair.

Since turning 50 at the start of the year, I have found myself questioning whether the newly found softness in my arms is something I should be concealing.

I notice the question.

I notice where it comes from.

Not from me, but from everything I've absorbed about how a woman my age should dress.

And then I come back to myself.

If you want to feel good in your clothes, really good, then you need knowledge and self-trust.

Not the knowledge of what's trending, what's age-appropriate or what someone else thinks looks good on you, the knowledge of what works for YOU specifically.

Which colours amplify your presence, which styles celebrate your form, which choices feel like the woman you are right now.

Self-trust isn't built overnight, it's built through consistently honouring your feelings, your preferences and your instincts. It's built by choosing yourself over the noise. Every, single day.

This week, I want you to notice the moment you defer. The moment you ask for permission about what you're wearing. It could be a thought that arises, such as 'Am I too old to pull this off?' It could be a question you ask someone, like 'Does this colour wash me out?' You don't have to do anything differently. Just notice. That awareness is where self-trust begins.

Because your wardrobe is about you.

Absolutely no one else but you.

Julie x