Are Doc Martens really cool?

As a teenager in the 90's, it was cool to wear Doc Martens. Except it wasn't cool if they looked new. They had to look scuffed and worn, like you had been wearing them all your life. Which is weird given we hadn't been alive long.

The whole concept of looking cool was looking like you didn't care. You didn't care that Doc Martens were cool, because you had been wearing them all your life.

You also had to lace them the right way. If you didn't lace them the right way then clearly you weren't cool.

The number of holes also mattered. It was an eight hole minimum, more if you were hardcore. Shoes didn't count.

If your Docs were shiny, new, laced the wrong way and less than 8 holes, forget it.

That is a lot of rules about shoes you supposedly don't care about.

Except we did care. A lot.

Woven into our wardrobes are layers and layers of unspoken rules. Signs and signals that tell the world who we are.

Everyday, without realising, we dress ourselves through the lens of these rules. What's hot, what's not, what's in, what's out. Who's wearing what and why.

Advertising and media churn out endless lists of what we need to be wearing NOW. The shoes you were wearing yesterday are apparently embarrassing today. It's a shame you bought them in two different colours.

Brands jostle for our attention, advertising the latest trends, the latest styles, the latest colours. Like a seasonal costume change in a movie that never ends. Except, you never quite feel like you have arrived. You are always trying to catch up.

That's how the system is designed.

But what about us? What do we ACTUALLY want to wear?

A couple of years ago I wanted to buy myself a pair of sneakers. As I was researching styles and colours, I found myself feeling out of the loop. This wasn't the 90's where Converse All Stars or One stars were the only conceivable choice, there are hundreds of brands, colours and styles to choose from.

I became concerned. What if the style I like looks dated next season? What if the colour I like looks fabulous now and foolish next year? What if I make a fashion faux pas?

I soon realised that my concern about looking foolish was preventing me from choosing the sneakers that I liked. The ones that expressed my authentic style. The ones I could see myself wearing for years to come.

Isn't this my movie after all? Don't I get to design the costumes?

The truth is, there is no formula to being cool, to looking fashionable, to being accepted. There are just layers and layers of invisible rules that we absorb through media, society, culture, friends and family.

Wearing worn in, eight hole Doc Martens laced the right way doesn't make you cool. Only authenticity can do that.

And that takes guts.

It takes guts to understand your preferences, to wear what you love and to embody your own personal style regardless of what other people are wearing.

If you feel overwhelmed by the constant noise of what you should like, what you should wear, what's in, what's out. I want you to pause.

Take a deep, slow breath and remind yourself that the only person whose opinion matters is YOU. That true style is found in connecting to yourself and your values, not in wearing the latest trends.

This week, I want you to wear something you've been told is off trend, last season or yesterday's news but you still secretly love. Then hit reply and tell me what it was, I'd love to hear from you.

Julie x